Our Feelings
When we discuss racism, oftentimes we get very caught up in how it makes us feel. Our hurt, our feelings, us, us, us. We tend to let it control how we react and interact with the person who called us out. When we focus on how we feel, we center ourselves.
If we can learn to stop and step back, try to see it from the other person’s point of view, then we can start thinking instead of feeling. It isn’t that our feelings don’t matter or aren’t important, but when somebody is experiencing racism at our hands, even if we intended it or not, the wronged person is the one whose feelings matter at this time.
The key to dealing with our feelings, is stopping before responding. Contemplate your feelings and why you are so hurt. Why are you more hurt than the person calling out racism? Could it be that there is something you can see in yourself or your words/actions that makes being called out hit home? Are you maybe not as not-racist as you’ve always thought? Just sit with you feelings, be with them, and even write about them, if you must, but keep them to yourself.
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