Sunday Morning Churchy Thoughts

I'm reading a thread on my Disney message board about Prop. 8 being overturned and the topic has turned Biblical. Leviticus and different passages. Somebody wrote about the early history of the Christian church, stuff I didn't really know about. Like, that some guy, Paul really got it started, and he didn't even know Jesus. So he took what he liked best from the Old Testament, stuck it with Jesus's stuff, and viola! Christianity is born. And then some other guy, Peter, comes along and convinces Paul that this need not be limited to just Jews, but that Gentiles ought to be welcome as well, if they alter just a few of the rules, to make them feel more at home in this new religion.

I'm starting to feel more and more comfortable with drifting away from organized religion. I mean, this Paul guy didn't even know Jesus but is claiming to know what he wanted and thought? Come on...I'm sure he had good intentions, but still...So that leaves me with what? Not necessarily following Christianity as it is known. So what do I do? What do I believe? Do I believe in God? Yes, though not necessarily how He's depicted in the Bible. More like a genderless spirit/entity than in the shape of man. It's still just easier to say He/Him, etc. Do I believe in Heaven and Hell? I believe in energy. I believe this is the energy of God, and that there is positive and negative energy. We come from it, and return to it, and whatever we give in our lives, is where we return to. So if we spend our lives moping and being negative or hateful, we return to the negative energy. If we spend our lives being hopeful and helpful and trying to do good, we return to the positive energy. I think following the philosophy and words of Jesus isn't really a bad idea, and that it works for me, but that it isn't relevant to every human on the planet, and they ought to be free to follow whatever path makes the most sense to them.

So, as a whole, I suppose I'm not against church or organized religion, but I think it gets used against others so much that it's really ruined it for everybody. We all have to do things the same way, we all have to clap and do the hand motions, we all have to go spread the good word, or we're bad Christians. Never question anything, just believe and do as you're told. I don't buy that. I started questioning organized religion in the 7th grade and haven't looked back since. But instead of feeling insecure and bad about myself, I feel strong and secure in knowing that I am allowed to have a different opinion and still be loved by my God. I am allowed to express myself however works best for me, and that is ok. That is how I was designed to be. And who am I to judge?