Staying In Our Lane
You see a social media post asking a specific group of people a question. It actually says, “Please, only people from this group respond.” You aren’t in that group of people, but you really want to answer anyway, what should you do? Answer: Stay in your lane!
You see one group of people having a conflict with another group of people. Both are marginalized people. You aren’t in either of those groups, but want to get involved to show that you care and support everybody. Or point out how one group is more wrong than the other, in your opinion. What should you do? Answer: Stay in your lane!
white people are used to having every lane be ours, with no questions asked. We need to unlearn this. We are used to butting in and taking over conversations because it’s fun or we really think we have something important to add to the discussion, and we never think about how it comes across to the people with whom we are speaking.
If a question is asked and it specifically asks for white people to not engage, it’s actually disrespectful of you to join in. It’s not reverse racism or discrimination to be asked to sit out on a conversation, it’s just not for us, and that’s ok.
If what is happening is an issue between two groups of marginalized people, our best response is staying out of it, and continuing the work of dismantling white supremacy. Doing that, ending white supremacy, will help resolve most of the issues in this country for all marginalized groups. This is the best way to show your support for both groups of people. But we do not need to be Budinskys and center ourselves in an issue that ultimately has white supremacy to blame.
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